Dear List, This was e-mailed to me by a friend and is too good to keep to myself... 1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. 2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and press any key 3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. 4. 2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2. 5. Computers make very fast and accurate mistakes. 6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. 7. My software has bugs. It just develops random features. 8. C:WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL 9. C:DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN 10. <--------The information went data way---------- 11. Best file compression around:"DEL*.*" = 100% compression 12. The definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. 13. BREAKAST.COM Halted......Cereal Port Not Responding. 14. The name is Baud.........James Baud. 15. BUFFERS =20 FILES=15....2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! 16. Access denied-nah na nah na nah nah!! 17. C:\>Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 18. Bad Command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay... 19. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or file name!" 20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. 21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) 22. Backups? We don'*NEED* no steenking backups. 23. E Pluribus Modem. 24. >..... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)? 25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny. 26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available. 29. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting. 30. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C.(Y/N)? 31. Does fuzzy logic tickle? 32. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord. 33. 11th Commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium. 34. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. 35. Windows: Just another pane in the glass. 36. SENILE.COM found.....Out of memory..... 39. Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk? 40. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee. 41. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure. 42. Shel to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS.... 43. All computers wait at the same speed. 44. DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors. 45. Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue 46. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.... 47. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.... 48. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! 49. Help! I'm modeming......and I can't hang up!!!! 50. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue 51. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981 Enjoy and feel free to pass along... Warren -- Warren D. Fisher fish@communique.net Registered Piano Technician Piano Technicians Guild New Orleans Chapter 701
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