[pianotech] Never get in a contest . . .

[Mark Purney]

Hi Chuck,

I really do understand what you're saying, but I respectfully disagree - 
only because I've been involved in so many forums and I've seen how this 
has played out in different organizations.

I'm sure you've been in situations where an unruly child is behaving 
badly, and the parents don't do anything about it. They politely ask the 
child to stop, but he does not. They count to three, but nothing ever 
happens when they reach three. They threaten to not buy the kid a toy, 
or make some other kind of empty threat that never gets followed through 
with. But the only thing that kid learns is that he can do whatever he 
wants, and he ends up running the household and becoming a nuisance to 
everyone. I'm sure, in those situations, you've thought to yourself, "I 
never let my children behave like that - what is WRONG with these 
parents?"  And it truly is the parents' fault for not knowing how to 
discipline.

When there is a line, and crossing the line results in actual 
consequences, behavior improves.

Ask Frank Baxter. His forum has rules, and the rules work. I've been 
involved in many forums, and moderated a few. They all had basic rules 
prohibiting personal attacks and harassment of others. When those rules 
were violated, it resulted in a warning. And 95% of the time, that 
warning is all that was required to remind the offender of where the 
line is. There was usually an apology, followed by people getting along 
with each other again. But occasionally, you'd get that one troublemaker 
who refused to stop, and that person would be banned, and peace would be 
restored.

As for the Whack-a-Mole game, I've never seen that as a problem, and I 
certainly don't anticipate it being a problem with this group. We simply 
don't have that many troublemakers. This forum is mostly made up of very 
intelligent and polite people, and if there are a handful of bad apples 
among us, I guarantee most of them will be on better behavior if there 
is an understanding that we actually take our Code of Ethics seriously 
and will follow through with protecting it.

#1. I will act honorably and in a professional manner.
#6. I will promote, in any way that I can, good will toward my 
profession and toward the music industry.

To follow those items of the code doesn't mean we'll all be perfect all 
of the time, or that we won't occasionally get heated or say an impolite 
word to another member when we feel strongly about something. But to 
repeatedly act dishonorably and unprofessional simply should not be 
tolerated, because we've all agreed to not do so.



On 7/25/2012 5:55 AM, Chuck Behm wrote:
> Hi all - In regards to the forever-reoccuring discussion about banning 
> a particular poster (does this remind anyone else of the "Whack-a 
> Mole" game - you hit it and it pops up somewhere else), I'm reminded 
> of the saying, "Never get in a pissing contest with a skunk." And what 
> if it's the skunk who's instigating the contest? Stand upwind. Chuck Behm