craigslist ad---high-larious

[Tom Sivak]

List

Here is an ad for a "Free Yamaha Organ" that is
currently on craigslist here in Chicago.   The owner
of the organ undoubtedly works in advertising!  

FREE YAMAHA ORGAN

Do you have a large gaping space in your house that
just screams put an organ here? Do you want to look
artistic to friends and family? Do you need somewhere
to set plants? Do you need somewhere to store those
miscellaneous items that have no use in your home?
Everything that you cannot get rid of will eventually
end up on this organ, and it’s free. 

Look no further, I offer you, for free, a Yamaha
Electone two tier organ. Yes, not one but two full
tiers of keys for your playing enjoyment. Do you want
an instrument that only church choirs know how to
play? Please give a loving home to this instrument and
help us get our family room back? You can be the lucky
recipient to take away this deluxe, heavier than hell,
organ. Not only does it make a great space-taker, but
it also plays music, yes, I was surprised too. It is
the same music that Jesus loves. Did I mention that
it’s free? You too can get the music once reserved for
churches and cults in your own home. At this price,
this is an opportunity you cannot afford to miss. 

It also includes a bench. The bench has concealed
storage, great for storing all manner of religious
objects, wafers, music books, cookies, toys, an
occasional sandwich and small corpses. No overly
annoying organ is complete without this uncomfortable
wooden bench. After sitting on this bench for an hour
you will realize why God only makes you attend church
once a week. It comes with the lovely organ at no
additional charge! 

It is amazing how many uses this organ has. And it can
be yours free, no hidden costs, charges or fees. I
mean it. All you have to do is come and pick it up. So
do you have a hole in your life that you feel can only
be filled by an abstract instrument? Do you long for
music that makes you yearn for the sound of static? If
so please, please come take this thing. Did I mention
it’s free.