Cleaning out my mailbox but definitely worth a read!

Greg Newell gnewell@ameritech.net
Tue, 21 Jan 2003 12:25:05 -0500


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>
>COMPUTER POEM FOR THOSE OVER  30
>
>      A computer was something you saw on TV
>      In a science-fiction show of  note,
>      WINDOWS were something  you hated to clean
>      And RAM was  the cousin of a goat.
>
>      MEG was the name of my girlfriend
>      And GIG was a job for the  nights,
>      Now these terms all  mean different things,
>      And that  really MEGA-BYTES!
>
>      An APPLICATION was for employment
>      A PROGRAM, a TV show.
>      A CURSOR got his mouth washed out with  soap,
>      A KEYBOARD was on a  piano.
>
>      FILES, you used on your fingernails,
>      CHIPS, you ate from a bag,
>      And those big plastic sacks that went  out with the trash
>      Were the  only things you'd "DROP AND DRAG."
>
>       BROWSERS were shoppers in department store aisles,
>      SPREADSHEETS, you put on your bed,
>      And a YAHOO, I'm sorry to say, was a  guy
>      With very few SMARTS in his  head.
>
>      MEMORY was something you lost  with age,
>      A CD was a bank  account,
>      And if you had a  3-INCH FLOPPY,
>      You sure hoped  nobody found out!
>
>      BIOS were stories of famous  folks' lives,
>      BINS... we used  them to store grain,
>     A CAB was  a taxi that took you uptown,
>       And a LANDING ZONE was for a plane.
>
>      COMPRESS was something you did  to the garbage,
>      Not something  you did to a file,
>      And if you  UNZIPPED anything in public
>      You  could end up in jail for a while.
>
>      LOG ON was adding more wood to  the fire,
>      HARD DRIVE, a long  trip on the road,
>      A MOUSE PAD  was where little rodents lived
>       And a BACKUP would foul your commode.
>
>       GOOGLE was a guy with big funny eyes,
>      JUNO, a goddess of Rome,
>      And ONLINE was where you waited to board
>      The BUS that you'd ride to go  home.
>
>      A CHAT ROOM was usually my front porch,
>      LINKS were what made up a  chain,
>      And the only SEARCH  ENGINE that I ever saw
>      Was at  the front end of a train!
>
>      WAV's were found at the  seashore,
>      JPEG's came with a  tent,
>      The RECYCLE BIN was for  bottles and cans
>      And CACHE was  how we paid the rent.
>
>      A MAINFRAME supported the roof  of your house,
>      COOKIES, you ate  for dessert,
>      A SERVER worked in  a restaurant,
>      And MUD was just  wet, gooey dirt.
>
>      A ! PORT was the place where  ships would dock,
>      MIME's,  performers in shows,
>      And  HACKERS were people who chopped up trees
>      Into LOGS that they stacked up in  rows.
>
>      CUT was a job for a pocket knife,
>      PASTE-- you did that with glue,
>      A WEB was the home of a spider,
>      And a VIRUS... well, that was  the flu.
>
>      DRIVERS all worked for the bus line,
>      A BAT was used to play ball,
>      And WALLPAPER... oh yeah, that was the  stuff
>      That you actually glued  to the wall!
>
>      HI MEM, I thought, was a greeting...
>      STARTUP, I did to my car,
>      And a MENU would help me decide  what to order
>      When I went to my  neighborhood bar.
>
>      FAT was something you exercised  off,
>      PARTITIONS were walls in a  room,
>      SPAM was found only in  sandwiches,
>      And CLEANUP was  done with a broom.
>
>      A TEMP was a part-time employee,
>      MIDI, a skirt girls would wear,
>      And "ALWAYS ON TOP"... well, that's  hard to explain,
>      (Better yet,  let's not even go there!)
>
>      I still use my pen and my paper
>      And the memory stored in my head,
>      I hear no one's been killed in a  computer crash
>      But when it  happens, they wish they WERE dead!
>      (But seriously,  folks..........!)
>
>      Hey, I'm not knocking computers!
>      So please, don't call me a  fool!
>      I own a PC, which I use  every day,
>      It's my favorite  time-saving tool.
>
>      But one thing you should always remember,
>      Before you get hooked on  SpellCheck...
>      The greatest  computer that ever was made
>      Is  still the one that's attached to your NECK!!!

Greg Newell
mailto:gnewell@ameritech.net 

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