OT, humor, but NOT political, religious, etc....

[JStan40@aol.com]

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List,

This showed up in today's Chicago Tribune, and I couldn't resist passing it 
on, as it has no politico-religious content (that I was able to detect, 
though my internal sensors may be burnt out after the past day or two)!

This is a listing of proposed new pharmaceuticals:

Placebodiddley  When you really don't have the blues.
Ozzycontin          For excessive shakes caused by painful bat bites.
Valiumpire          For bad calls at Cubs games.            
Excedrintintin     For nagging headaches caused by chasing parked cars.
Mexlax              Cure for burrito build-up.
Rograin             Guaranteed to regrow cornrows.
Ibejivin            For treating compulsive liars.
Notmijobitol       For treating workaholics.
Laterderium        An antidote for Viagra.
Ferrobulerin        Makes a day at work feel like a day off.
Werzitol            Helps people remember where they left things.
'Fro-gaine            Hair replacement treatment for those who want to look 
like Gabe Kaplan (c. the "Welcome Back, Kotter" years).
Kwitcherbellyakinal      Relief for those who suffer from Chronic Complaint 
Syndrome.
Aleevaheave       For nausea control.
Rembrital            For early relief of Alzheimer's symptoms.
Sanegan             For schizophrenia.
Urthinagin           A new diet pill.
Ustaythin           Another new diet pill, possibly a followup therapy.
Urupagin        Caffeine substitute.
Binsadinol           For treatment of depression.
Phillips' Milk of Amnesia  For memory loss.
Easy Glum, Easy Glow       For treatment of manic-depressive disorder.
Innuendo            A suppository (suitable as a carrier of a variety of 
medications).
Excremints           (Self-explanatory....I don't want to go into it...)
Smelltherozak    Treatment for depression.
Peptodismal        For when you feel just plain sick.
Incognitosin        Renders you unrecognizable to others--rumored to have 
been taken for years by Elvis.....
Nickletrol            An affordable 16-hour step-down patch.
Hicotrol            A 16-hour count-down hiccup patch.
Pickotrol           A 16-hour calm-down patch for nagging.
Sickotrol           A 16-hour get-well patch.
TeleBan             Treatment for Couch Potato Syndrome.
AwLeave         Treatment for departure anxiety.
Seat'n'all          A weight-loss preparation.
Bothox              Botox for twins.
Triamedic            General pain reliever for use while searching for a 
physician.
Whereamiacin    For use by the directionally-challenged.
Whatsnexium     For anxiety relief.
Barfbaginol         For air-sickness.
Procrastanix        For couch potatoes and burnouts, take daily for 
motivation.
ExLags              For help in moving through security checkpoints.
SueDaFeds          Relieves governmental stuffiness.

Warning:  Toxicity of some of the above preparations has not as yet been 
determined.........proceed at your own risk!
 
Stan Ryberg
Barrington IL
Associate Member
mailto:jstan40@aol.com

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