aghast with wits

[antares]

> 
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "antares" <antares@EURONET.NL>
> To: <pianotech@ptg.org>
> Sent: June 10, 2001 9:29 AM
> Subject: aghast with nits
> 
> 
>> If there's ever, anybody 'out there' who has the slightest or even
> tiniest
>> respect for 'the fact' that >  I.....ME < ...write and communicate in YOUR
>> silly language (;>))))  ,then pay 'hommage' to Susan Kline in Philomath
> OR.
>> I owe it to her!
> 
> Now just what do you mean by 'silly language? English is a perfectly logical
> and straightforward language. Well, except for a few minor points.
> 
> Ok, so there are no eggs in an eggplant or ham in hamburger. Who cares?
> There are also no apples in pineapples and neither grows on pine trees. So
> what if the English didn't send us English muffins, or the French french
> fries? We do have sweetmeats that are candies and sweetbreads that are
> actually meat and not sweet at all.
> 
> But at least our descriptive terms are accurate except that quicksand works
> slowly and boxing rings are really square.
> 
> Our geography is pretty good though. Except, of course, that guinea pigs are
> neither pigs nor are they from Guinea.
> 
> We have writers that write and fingers that don't fing, grocers that don't
> groce and hammers that don't ham.
> 
> One tooth is a tooth, but two of them are teeth. So if I build another
> booth, do I have beeth? If another goose gives me geese will another moose
> give me meese?
> 
> Why can you make amends but not just one amend? And, as much as I search
> though the annals of history I can't find a single annal. If you get rid of
> all your odds and ends except just the one, what do you have? An odd or an
> end?
> 
> When I was in school, the teachers taught. So, when I was in church, why
> didn't the preacher praught?  If you wrote a letter, can you also bote your
> tongue?
> 
> In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We
> ship by truck and send our trucks by ship. Our noses run and our feet smell.
> We park on driveways and drive on parkways. A fat chance and a slim chance
> can mean the same thing but a wise man and a wise guy are opposites. Oversee
> and overlook are opposites but quite a lot and quite a few are alike.
> 
> The streets are full of horseless carriages, but have you ever seen a
> horseful carriage? How about a strapful gown on a beautiful woman? When was
> the last time you met a sung hero? Or someone who was combobulated? Or
> gruntled. Or ruly? Or peccable? And I've not yet met a spring chicken. But I
> did meet a man who would hurt a fly.
> 
> Is there any other language in which a house burns up as it burns down? Or
> in which you fill in a form as you fill it out? How about that alarm that
> goes off as it goes on? Or the stars that I see when they are out, but the
> light that I don't see when it is out?
> 
> The thing that makes the English language so rich and diverse is that it was
> invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the diversity of the
> human race (which of course is not a race at all). And now I must go. I see
> that my watch has stopped and I must wind it up to start it so I'll have to
> wind up this little piece to end it.
> 
> Perhaps all English speakers should simply be committed to an asylum for the
> verbally insane.
> 
> Regards,
> 
> Del
> 
> (An adaptation of something I saw someplace, but it wasn't on my saw.)
> 
> 
>
Del, my compliments to you for your playing with words.
The fact that all those double meanings you mentioned above are possible in
English makes it rich and colorful.
I feel privileged to be able to communicate with y'all in this, your,
language.

Prosit!

Antares,

Amsterdam, Holland