Understanding engineers

[Ron Nossaman]

It's late, traffic is light, please forgive the bandwidth abuse. I'm
obviously easily amused... but I like the last two best. 


>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - I
>Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
>said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
>
>The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
>yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode
>up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all
>her clothes, and said, "Take what you want."
>
>The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
>probably wouldn't have fit."
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - II
>An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether
>it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The
>architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
>foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he
>enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and
>mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
>
>"Both?"
>
>Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will
>each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you
>can go to the plant and get some work done."
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - III
>What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
>Engineers?
>Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build
>targets.
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS (and other folks with degrees)  - IV
>The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it
>cost?"
>The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
>that?"
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - V
>To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the
>glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big
>as it needs to be.
>

 Ron N