Dear List, Thought you'd all get a kick out of these. Greg Newell >"NEW LYRICS TO BEATLES SONGS" > ---------------- > >YESTERDAY >Yesterday, >All those backups seemed a waste of pay. >Now my database has gone away. >Oh I believe in yesterday. >Suddenly, >There's not half the files there used to be, >And there's a milestone >hanging over me >The system crashed so suddenly. >I pushed something wrong >What it was I could not say. >Now all my data's gone >and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay. >Yesterday, >The need for back-ups seemed so far away. >I knew my data was all here to stay, >Now I believe in yesterday. >========================================== >Songs to program by... >Eleanor Rigby > ------------- >Eleanor Rigby >Sits at the keyboard >And waits for a line on the screen >Lives in a dream >Waits for a signal >Finding some code >That will make the machine do some more. >What is it for? >All the lonely users, where do they all come from? >All the lonely users, why does it take so long? >Guru MacKenzie >Typing the lines of a program that no one will run; >Isn't it fun? >Look at him working, >Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile; >It takes a while... >All the lonely users, where do they all come from? >All the lonely users, why does it take so long? >Eleanor Rigby >Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work; >Feels like a jerk. >Guru MacKenzie >Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code; >Nothing will load. >All the lonely users, where do they all come from? >All the lonely users, why does it take so long? > ================================= >Unix Man (Nowhere Man) > -------- >He's a real UNIX Man >Sitting in his UNIX LAN >Making all his UNIX plans >For nobody. >Knows the blocksize from du(1) >Cares not where /dev/null goes to >Isn't he a bit like you >And me? >UNIX Man, please listen(2) >My lpd(8) is missin' >UNIX Man >The wo-o-o-orld is at(1) your command. >He's as wise as he can be >Uses lex and yacc and C >UNIX Man, can you help me At all? >UNIX Man, don't worry >Test with time(1), don't hurry >UNIX Man >The new kernel boots, just like you had planned. >He's a real UNIX Man >Sitting in his UNIX LAN >Making all his UNIX plans For nobody ... >Making all his UNIX plans For nobody. > ================================ >Write in C ("Let it Be") > ------------------------ >When I find my code in tons of trouble, >Friends and colleagues come to me, >Speaking words of wisdom: >"Write in C." >As the deadline fast approaches, >And bugs are all that I can see, >Somewhere, someone whispers: >"Write in C." >Write in C, Write in C, >Write in C, oh, Write in C. >LOGO's dead and buried, >Write in C. >I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, >For science it worked flawlessly. >Try using it for graphics! >Write in C. >If you've just spent nearly 30 hours, >Debugging some assembly, >Soon you will be glad to >Write in C. >Write in C, Write in C, >Write in C, yeah, Write in C. >BASIC's not the answer. >Write in C. >Write in C, Write in C >Write in C, oh, Write in C. >Pascal won't quite cut it. >Write in C. > ======================= >Something > --------- >Something in the way it fails, >Defies the algorithm's logic! >Something in the way it coredumps... >I don't want to leave it now >I'll fix this problem somehow >Somewhere in the memory I know, >A pointer's got to be corrupted. >Stepping in the debugger will show me... >I don't want to leave it now >I'm too close to leave it now >You're asking me can this code go? >I don't know, I don't know... >What sequence causes it to blow? >I don't know, I don't know... >Something in the initializing code? >And all I have to do is think of it! >Something in the listing will show me... >I don't want to leave it now >I'll fix this tonight I vow! > > > > Greg and Mary Ellen Newell Greg's Piano Forte` Lakewood, Ohio 44107 gnewell@en.com
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