World's Worst Tuner

Bill Ballard yardbird@sover.net
Thu, 13 Mar 1997 21:45:48 -0500 (EST)


In telling all of these stories, we shouldn't be too hard on the poor=20
fools. But we should tell these stories so that we know that those poor=20
fools are out there.

I once breezed through an antique store to look at an early 18th=20
Broadwood square. Unfortunately the guy did know the value of it. But he=20
also told me of a Spanish barrel organ which he'd had for awhile. There=20
being no keyboard, the only way for a tuner to activate the strings was=20
by plucking them. The tuner called made it through the temperament and=20
bass half of the compass without mishap, but somewhere plucking his=20
octaves up into the treble, his hand widened a tad. He wasn't the sort to=
=20
play his work before packing up and so it was left to the antique dealer=20
to discover that the pitch of most of the treble was 100c down from the=20
rest of the piano. Bet you never heard "Santa Lucia" played like that!

I also came in on a Steinway AIII with a respectable rebuilding maybe 25=20
years old. The owner, whose daughter was a piano major in college,=20
relayed the complaint that the UC pedal was a little stiff. Sure enough,=20
there were strips of 50-grit sandpaper glued grit up to the keybed at=20
four points under the front rail (and in between these points, a gap=20
between the rail and bed equal to the thickness of said sandpaper). These=
=20
had been installed to quiet the knocking between the rail and bed caused=20
by  a frightful downturning of the glides. All for the purpose of a 7/16"=
=20
dip.=20

It gets wild and wolly out here!=20

Bill Ballard RPT
NH Chapter

"I gotta go ta woik...."
Ian Shoales, Duck=D5s Breath M. Theater





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