Antiques? Beware

[Sy Zabrocki]

Just when you think you've experienced it all--you haven't. A lady =
antique dealer called me to appraise two 100 year old antique pianos. At =
her store was a man who had just unloaded two uprights. His Dodge van =
had Maine license plates and he was pulling a trailer. These two pianos =
were as bad as pianos can be, just awful.

One was a Harrington No. 32616--1909. Most of the damper lever springs =
were broken. It measured 113 cents flat with an Accu-tuner. The other =
was a Sterling No. 74635--1918 and was 150 cents flat. It had a crack in =
the bass bridge as big as the Grand Canyon. Both were filthy dirty, =
rusty, almost no ivories left, hard felts, no straps, moth damaged, =
veneer loose on cabinets. Both pianos had loose frame joints and the =
upper pin block planks were tilting slightly forward. Probably the =
reason they were so flat. For some reason the tuning were tight =
enough--sure at 113 and 153 cents flat.

The man was trying to peddle these junkers on Mrs. Antique (Mrs. A). =
Right in front of the man and Mrs. A  I began to emphatically state =
these pianos were worthless. The peddler and even Mrs. A  just couldn't =
believe it and tried to debate with me. I then told them I wouldn't take =
these pianos if they were given to me, trying to emphasize my point.=20

This man claimed he had purchased these pianos from a reputable dealer =
in Maine and had paid $1700 for the two. This dealership had existed =
almost 200 years which really really made the the dealer reputable. It's =
doubtful he even acquired them from any dealer. He wasn't happy to see =
me there as I tried to prevent him from unloading this junk on Mrs. A.  =
Well the lady finally paid me my appraisal fee and in her office =
admitted she was spooked.

So it was assumed this character would soon be trucking down the =
interstate dragging these critters out of our area. WRONG!!!  A couple =
days later a sweet young voice called us inquiring about a used piano =
she had found. "Have you ever heard of a Harrington piano?" she asked. =
Sure enough, it was the same piano. I couldn't believe it. Mrs. Antique =
must have caved into this guy after all and now she was trying to peddle =
it on the public. She hired and paid for an appraisal and then ignored =
it. Shows how much clout I have around here--zelch, zippo with antique =
dealers anyway.

There's more. Before I arrived the guy had somehow let Mrs. A know that =
he was a born again Christian. He also spun this tale how he and his =
wife had  their money and credit cards stolen out of their van while =
having a picnic in Nebraska. Then his story really became sad. The $1700 =
for the pianos was borrowed from his mother. He was full of baloney and =
I was almost laughing in his face but Mrs. Antique might have felt sorry =
for the guy. I still don't know how he happened to be in Billings, MT.

So what other antique junk is Mrs. Antique selling knowing it is =
worthless? My experience with "antique" pianos has been almost 100% =
negative. Some of these dealers at least must be in their own world--the =
world of ambiguity.

Sy Zabrocki--RPT
only4zab@imt.net