Tooner Tales

[Kenneth W. Burton]

      I guess I'd better not call the book, "Tooner Tales" because I
see that Alpha Bits, Newsletter of the Washington D.C. Chapter already
uses that name.
      I have a stockpile of about 40 stories now and received an
excellent one from Benjamin Treuhaft (Send A Piana To Havana)
      Come on, guys, if each of you send me your prize story, I'll have
a bookful and your gem will be PUBLISHED!
      Here's another sample but more of a joke than a true incident:

      The surgeon amputated a leg of his patient, a piano tuner. After
the operation, he went to see the deprived technician.
      "I've got some good news and I've got some bad news," he said.
"Which would you like first?"
      "I guess I'd better have the bad news first," said the newly
created uniped, "then the good news can cheer me up again."
      "OK," said the surgeon. "The bad news is that we amputated the
wrong leg."
      "Oh no!" cried the distraught tuner. "Oh no! What could possibly
be good news after that?"
      The surgeon smiled, "Well, the good news is, we examined the
other leg very carefully and we found there's nothing wrong with it!"

      Please send your true funny or amazing stories to:
      kwburton@freenet.calgary.ab.ca

      Ken Burton
      "Doctor Piano"
     Calgary, Alberta