Food on pianos and other forms of VANDALISM!

[Bill Darst]

        The first piano whose bass strings I replaced - before I had even
learned to tune a piano was a Steinway A in the auditorium of private
school where I was teaching music. It was referred to by all as "the
pickled piano."  It seems that after a drama event there was a party held
on stage.  One of those large institutional-sized jars of pickles was
consumed as a part of the festivities.  The jar, now containing only pickle
juice made its way, somehow, to the edge of the stage.  The Steinway was
inocently sitting there in the pit.  Need I go one and describe the
inevitable outcome?
        I'm sure many of you have your own similar anecdotes.  And,
naturally, like many of you I have particular enmity for those who damage
pianos either willfully or by "accident," whatever that is.  The speech I
give whenever I encounter students or faculty with food and drink on the
piano has become well honed I am afraid.  I pull out all the stops,
sometimes bereting, sometimes cajoling - whatever is necessary to protect
me from having to deal with the damage issuing from their actions.
        When I arrived here five years ago I visited each piano and noted
its condition and it wasn't a pretty site.  I can't say that we have
entirely eliminated piano damage, but we have instituted some policies that
I think are going to have a good effect in the long run.  Primary among
these is a contract students sign when they check out practice room keys.
Here's the whole thing in case you can use any of it.

UCSB Department of Music
Key & Deposit Receipt & Acknowledgement of Responsibilities

I hereby acknowledge receipt of key(s)_____________, and payment of a
deposit of ________therefore on this_______ day of ________, 19__; and
agree to the following terms and conditions attendant to use of said key.

        A $25 cash deposit is required for each key issued.  This deposit
will be refunded, less any outstanding balance owed for damage assessment,
when keys are returned to the department.

        All keys must be returned immediately to the Department At:

                -the end of each ________quarter.
                -separation from UCSB or the Department of Music.

        Failure to return keys promptly will result in the forfeiture of
the cash deposit and/or the withholding of student grades, records and
transcripts.

        In the case of practice rooms, each individual student is
accountable for the proper and responsible use of the facilities and
equipment located in the block of rooms which the key opens. (We have
practice rooms keyed in groups: General Use [4 areas], Vocal Major, Piano
Major.)

        Any misuse, abuse or destruction of Department equipment and
facilities will not be tolerated.  It is mandatory that any vandalism,
misue or damage be related to Department staff immediately upon discovery.

        Any infraction of the following guidelines will result in the
confiscation of keys, forfeiture of deposit and loss of use privileges:
                -failure to close, lock, and secure rooms.
                -propping open of locked doors.
                -lending or borrowing of keys.
                -removing equipment, without authorization, from any space.
                -the use of Deparment facilities for other than the purpose
of        practice, rehearsal, study or teaching as established by the
Depoartment of Music Executive Committee and Faculty.

I acknowledge that I have read these rules and requirements and am fully
and completely aware of the responsibilities I am assuming for the
privilege of using Department facilities as described herein.

(This is followed by a signature of the key recipient, date, and an
acceptance signature of the person issuing the key.)

If damage exceeds deposit money collected we have the option of withholding
grades and transcripts until the outstanding fees are paid.  We do withhold
money if necessary and we inspect practice rooms before keys are collected
each quarter.  Naturally, this kind of policy requires that the Department
administration as a whole be ready to support this and that there is a
school-wide or university-wide policy allowing departments to withold
grades and transcripts for these reasons.  Keys must be periodically
collected and reissued and practice rooms inspected for damage. Also, rooms
must be rekeyed where security has by compromised.

Now, about those faculty members and their potted plants.......hmmm.

bill darst
University of California at Santa Barbara