[CAUT] In pursuit of perfection

[Chris Solliday]

Conrad, Barbara, Ron and all,
Speaking of slamming, I like to walk on to the stage slowly, put down my
tool box, raise the lid fully, remove my coat and hang it on the short
stick, open my tool box, get set up, and then sit down at the piano, look
slowly around the room engaging as many eyes as possible, smile, depress the
sustain pedal and pound with my hands and forearms the entire keyboard for
aprox 15 seconds and then without lifting the sustain pedal for a second,
with one hand, strike every note in a descending chromatic scale sharply at
least twice while continuing to pound with my other hand, keeping the board
in maximum motion and switching hands around middle C. When I finish the
scale at bottom A I hold the sustain for a few seconds and then slowly drop
the dampers in. I look up and slowly look around the room smiling and
engaging as many eyes as possible. I call this my "Gravity's Rainbow" after
Pynchon's book and if someone asks, which someone almost always does, I tell
them that if I could just get this down on paper I'm sure I could win a
Pulitzer Prize. I might mention V2 rockets over London for those who haven't
read the book. Then I explain the diagnostic revelations available during
the "piece" to anyone who wants to know more. I'm sure every one on this
list can imagine what they might be. I especially like to challenge my own
stability if I have done the tuning previously, or if someone else has
slipped in, well then we see or rather hear. Better me than the pianist. And
so it goes. Oh, and of course by then I have estabilished that I have the
most powerful  weapon in the room and that I am not afraid to use it.
Usually though by then most everyone has packed up and headed for the door.
I was hired to do at job at a certain time and as long as the conductor has
dismissed rehearsal or soundcheck, you're gona hear from me.
The really cool part is that I get to do this several times every week.
Keeps ya goin when things get boring or slow.
ONward,
Chris Solliday
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Conrad Hoffsommer" <hoffsoco at luther.edu>
To: "College and University Technicians" <caut at ptg.org>
Sent: Wednesday, November 01, 2006 6:44 AM
Subject: Re: [CAUT] In pursuit of perfection


> At 10:25 AM 11/1/2006 +1100, you wrote:
> >Hi all,
> >
> >Just returned from tuning the piano for a Sydney Sydney Symphony
Orchestra
> >second day performance for their schools concert programme.
> >
> >When I arrived to tune the piano, at my allocated time, there was just
one
> >solitary Oboist rehearsing her lines. By the time I had finished, the
> >rehearsing instrumentalists included, two French horns, a trumpet, slide
> >trombone, a percussionist on kettle drums, a vibraphonist and the
> >aforementioned Oboist.
> >
> >Fortunately I also tuned the piano for the first concert yesterday, and
> >the piano is quite stable. Their lack of consideration had me dreaming of
> >arriving with tools in hand during their performance, for a little
> >unscheduled touch-up.
> >
> >Ron O
> >--
> >OVERS PIANOS - SYDNEY
> >       Grand Piano Manufacturers
> >__
>
>
> This is where my curmudgeon training course would come in handy. As you
get
> to a certain age, (as you'll find out eventually) people expect you to
> speak/grumble/mumble out loud about those things which are flitting
through
> your mind, such as a better placement of an oboe, or a more effective
> french horn mute.
>
> Little statements like, "Promise me you'll come back and vacuum during the
> concert, so the piano sounds the same, OK?"
> ;-}
>
> or...
>
> Just the other day some voice people came in on my recital hall tuning to
> do some "staging" saying "we won't be singing". Of course, they softly
> did.  As I left I said, "You may not realise it, but sotto voce _is_
> singing..." and slammed the stage door...
>
> Have a VB for me, Ron.
>
>
>
>
>
> Conrad Hoffsommer - Keyboard Technician
> Luther College, 700 College Dr., Decorah, Iowa 52101-1045
> 1-(563)-387-1204 // Fax 1-(563)-387-1076
>
> - Right now, I'm hoping to live until my age matches my golf score,
> - Until then, I'll have to be content to have my IQ match my handicap.
>
>
>