It is time for everybody to take a "Time Out"

[Tom Servinsky]

Will
Agreed.
We all need to remind ourselves that this list has to remain a civil, congenial place in which we must remind ourselves that we are responsible for the content. I for one, came down hard on her due to the fact that this had gotten way out of control and that I simply had enough of ugly insults. The tone of the emails were getting nastier and nastier and the list was starting to resemble a extreme hate forum. That being said, I was reminded by Kent that all personal comments should be dealt with privately, in which I quickly responded to her( privately) and apologized for making a public forum for my frustration.
Newcomers to the list sometimes resemble a bull in the china closet. They come to the list with a lot of energy and sometimes with ill-conceived notions of the technical industry. The list is generally pretty good at trying to channel that energy and add helpful perspectives. Most of the advise is usually welcomed and appreciated. However, every once in awhile, the advice is miss-understood as a personal attack and an extreme defensive posture ensures. Which is what has happened.
My take on all of this is yes, we all let this get the best of us.  We were all trying to add constructive criticism in a  forum that had gotten heated and way out of control.
So Alicia, understand where most of us come from. Most newcomers to the list are completely humbled at the thought of having their ideas debated by the techs on this list. The combined years of experience here is mind-boggling. Most of the techs who participate do so because they enjoy adding their 2 cents  and have a sincere interest in helping others. That's what makes this list so unique.

Tom Servinsky


  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Will Truitt 
  To: 'Pianotech List' 
  Sent: Friday, July 04, 2008 11:51 AM
  Subject: It is time for everybody to take a "Time Out"


   

  To all:

   

  I have been following the various threads between and about Alicia and a number of other list contributors with increasing dismay.  I think we have long since passed the point where the continued discussion is of value to anyone.  So why continue?

   

  I have been observing some writers speak of Alicia as if she were not there, and as if she were a person of no feelings.  Whether or not you care for her presentation style is entirely beside the point.  The remarks are snippy and insensitive, and likely hurtful.   Possibly they will continue to generate a response from her that you so wish to change, so how can they benefit anyone?

   

  It is interesting that quite a number of you seem to have offered to become a self appointed "parent" to Alicia.  Tell me, what 19 year old wants to listen to a parent?  If you don't know the answer to that question, ask your own!

   

  Alicia, I have no advice to give you - particularly since you certainly suffer from no lack of it at the moment!  

   

  I would like to make some remarks in general, and directed to anyone who cares to read them.

   

  I regard this list as a unique community which I attach a great deal of value to.  It is an extraordinary technical resource, where the best minds of our field are generous enough to freely share what they know, and respond at length to queries.  How many other places can we find that?  I have learned an incredible amount that continues to make me a better technician.  

   

  Also, it has given me the opportunity to correspond with a number of very good technicians and rebuilders, both on this list and privately, to my continued benefit.  And it has given me the opportunity to get to know some of these people on a first name and friendly personal basis.  What a joy - I have gotten to know some fantastic human beings, and surely that is a blessing.  

   

  It is my observation as I have traveled through this life that just about every human being wants to be treated with respect, no matter how humble their position, or how youthful and inexperienced they may be.  That's a pretty easy thing to do - just treat everybody with courtesy and respect.  It certainly is the grease that makes the wheel of life turn more easily.  

   

  And there is the adage that "If you want respect, then give respect".  Be humble around others, particularly those who know more than you.  (That means I get to be humble a lot)

   

  Practice "Beginner's Mind" as much as you can, which will allow you to see things with a fresh eye, and possibly in new ways.  

   

  I think we learn the most when we leave our egos at the door.  Defend your ideas, but not your ego.  This place is an Arena of Ideas, so put them out there and let them rise or fall on their own merits.  If another's point of view prevails because their ideas are better conceived and executed, be humble and graciously yield the day to them.  And LEARN from them.  If we are not here and willing to learn, why are we here?

   

  This forum is a precious thing that needs to be protected at all times with our best behavior.  

   

  Respectful to all,

   

  Will Truitt

   

   
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