Piano from Hell

Rob Goodale rrg@unlv.nevada.edu
Fri, 9 Jul 2004 10:54:40 -0500


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I had one of my worst experiences as a piano technician this morning.  I =
got a call from a guy who told me his piano needed tuning and repair.  I =
agreed to take the job.  Upon arriving I about fell over.

It turned out to be a 90 year old "Metropolitan" full upright.  It was =
the biggest pile of crap I have ever seen outside of a land fill.  I =
immediately started in how old the piano was and probably not worth =
fixing but he quickly cut me off and in a heavy British accent told me =
to "please fix it".  The "thing" had been painted white.  He was now in =
the process of painting it gold which he proudly proclaimed was =
"restoring the finish".  Chunks of wood were missing out of the case.  I =
opened it to find that the action was not even screwed in place, just =
laying in the piano.  There was one broken treble string and the bass =
strings were black with corrosion.
There was a crack running under the bass bridge and the apron was loose. =
 There were broken bridal straps, broken hammers, and several others =
that had been previously broken and reglued with string.  most of the =
hammer return springs were out of place and some were missing.  One =
sharp was missing, the key bushings were worn out, someone did a poor =
job at recovering the keys, and the pivot pin on the sustain pedal had =
been sheared off completely and the bushing block was shattered.

He continued on about what a "great piano" it was as I looked at the sad =
heap.  I calmly explained that there was simply nothing left to fix, the =
piano was dead and what he needed was a new piano.  He came back with =
"You Yanks, your all alike.  You throw anything away.  In England we =
would never throw out a fine instrument like this!"  Then he bragged =
about how he KNEW what he was talking about because HE was a pianist!  =
(Oh golly silly me, I should have worshipped his feet on the spot!)  =
Then he proudly announced that he bought it from an auction so it MUST =
be a good piano!  (Now there's reasoning for you).

I continued to explain that I was trying to save him money, that it =
would cost him far more to repair than to replace it.  He demanded to =
know how much.  I explained that it would cost hundreds just to make it =
produce sound again and even then it would be nothing but trouble.  "Oh =
no I don't want to do all that, I just want it REPAIRED, you know, so =
that it works"!  (Excuse me didn't I just say that?  Do we need =
subtitles for this conversation?"  I then explained that what the piano =
really needed was a complete restoration and that would cost at least =
$10,000.00.  "I'm trying to save you money, this piano is NOT worth it, =
you really should consider buying another piano".  He again reminded me =
that he was a pianist and that he knew this piano was worth it and that =
it really didn't need that much work.  Finally I just told him flat out =
that I couldn't help him and that I really didn't have the time to spend =
three days working on it.  His disposition continued to get worse as I =
made a hasty exit.

Shame on me... after all this guy was a "pianist" and got it from an =
auction so he MUST know what he's talking about!

Rob Goodale, RPT
Las Vegas, NV




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