Y'all, I really don't know what to say, or perhaps more accurately, I'm not sure how to say it. This email list was the first list I have ever joined as a rank-and-file human being with no visible gender issues. I have made a number of wonderful friends here from all over the world. I've had the unusual experience (for me) of being right with myself and right with those around me for the first time in my life, AND being accepted as a regular, everyday, nothing-wrong-with-me, everyone-welcomes-me-into-the-fold, not-everyone-agrees-with-me-but-who-cares, honest-to-goodness human being. I've honestly never experienced that before subscribing to this list. Sadly, it's an experience I doubt many of you can fully appreciate, at least to the extent that I have experienced it. When the "it" post was made, my heart sank. You see, I've spent years of my life fighting for the civil rights of the transgender community. It was a long, hard, thankless slog, but I felt obligated to do it. I eventually reached the point that I could no longer endure the pain and sacrifice of it all, and I felt as though my hard work was no longer making any headway in the movement. Having put in four years of hard service to my people, I felt I deserved a "discharge," and so I retired and made myself a "civilian" again, and I have been very content in "regular" life. When the "it" post surfaced, I knew what I had to do, and I HATED having to do it. I was being called back from the reserves, and I knew that the only effective way to address these issues would involve "outing" myself. Vacation ended. Would I have the same friends afterwards? Would I have a scarlet letter "T" branded on my forehead? Would my little oasis of normalcy still be normal? As this issue has unfolded, the people on this list have surpassed my expectations in their support for my maligned little community, and I have been very touched. However, when I thought I had put this issue to bed, exhausted and frazzled, I was met with the same back-handed phrase that has been wielded against me for decades, "Let's all pray for Sarah." Perhaps it was sincere, but that's not the way I read it. I admit I fell apart. Feeling pretty wounded, I pulled myself from the computer and tended to dinner and other matters. When I later returned to my computer, I could not believe my eyes. In my in-box, accompanying one insulting email of predictable origin were a half dozen supportive emails from friends and from people I had never even heard of, expressing their thanks for having taken a position -- and then a couple more (no, three), just now. And then I opened up my pianotech folder and found numerous emails from more of the people I care about, all expressing support for this issue -- and a couple of critical emails, again of predictable origin. Now I'm in the odd position that I'm totally fried, I need to go to bed, and I don't have the energy to respond to so many emails tonight! I'll respond in private later, and I hope y'all understand. I've already made all the points I intend to make on list, and those points do not need to be belabored. Anyway, I want you all to know how very much I appreciate your standing with me in the face of bigotry. My tears of outrage have become tears of joy, and I must say it's been a helluva day on the roller coaster! Thank you all for being my friends. (And thank you too, John, for being sincere, even though you and I don't entirely connect on these points! I apologize for my aggressive tone with you in one of my posts.) I'll be going to bed very tired tonight, but I'll be going to bed with a more optimistic outlook than I have had in a very long time. Tomorrow is a new day, in a world that is far more enlightened that I had once thought. Thanks for giving that to me, y'all! Peace, Sarah
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