You're absolutely right, Wim. This thing can't possibly work. And while we're at it, let's trash a few other ideas that are so far out there that they also can't possibly work: the internal combustion engine comes to mind. All those moving -- metal sliding against metal, what a stupid idea -- parts and trying to vaporize liquid gasoline fast enough to burn with enough force to produce power...ridiculous. Not only is the basic idea unworkable, think what it will do to the economy. All the wagon makers, horse farms and stable workers will be out of jobs, not to mention the rig repairers and wagon technicians. Surely the world will be awash in unemployment if the big manufacturers go ahead with these foolish ideas. And I understand there are a couple of fool brothers somewhere who are even working on a way to get one of these engines to power some kind of mechanical contraption they call an aeroplane. This aeroplane thing -- as ungainly and as heavy as it is -- they hope to get off the ground and make fly through the air. Now everyone knows just how stupid that idea is. Why that thing is a whole lot heavier than air. Well, I'll not go on. It's clear that we must trash every new idea that comes along in this business. And the sooner the better. After all, the piano business is so robust and thriving just now it would be a terrible shame to do anything that might upset things. It would never do to take an idea with some obvious problems and develop it over time and actually make it work. Like the spelling checker, for example. Does anyone else remember how ungainly and awkward they were when they first became available? Impossible to use! Not to mention buggy, slow, inaccurate, incomplete -- really more trouble than they were worth. Besides, if one were ever made to work well, think what it would do to the editing industry. Now they are so simple and efficient they actually can be set up to run in the background and make even pathetic spellers like me look good. And editors -- at least the one to whom I'm married -- are busy correcting bad grammar, typos and awkward sentence structure. (No, she didn't edit this -- all of the grammatical, typos and structural errors are my own.) Have a nice, comfortable and non-challenging day one and all.... Del ------------------------------------------------------ ----- Original Message ----- From: <Wimblees@AOL.COM> To: <Pianotech@ptg.org> Sent: July 01, 2002 1:51 PM Subject: self tuning piano???? > In the July Journal is a hillarious article about the self tuning piano. I know this story has been on the list before, but I just want to be sure all of you read it, just for the fun of it. It is absolutley unreal to think that someone could actually justify the invention of this "tool". What is even more discouraging is that someone from the piano industry actually paid this guy to develop and install the system in a real piano. > > Here are a couple of misnomers which lead this guy to think the systme works. He thinks one of the reasons strings go out of tune is because tuning pins slip. To solve this problem, he actually has developed a "string lock", to permantly clamp the strings in place, making tuning pins superflous. Tuning pins and strings do not move. (unles the pin block is bad). > > Another problem with the system is that the piano will be re-tuned repeatedly to a tuning set at the factory. This tuning will be done by a "Story & Clark Master Technician". Oh, I know the kind. The one in the booth at the end of the production line, competing with the noise of the stringing department. I am sure that will be a great tuning. For comparison, it took 4 CTE level tuner 5 hours to tune a piano at the convention. Do you think there might be a differnce between the two tunings? I wonder if the piano can be reprogrammed? Will Ed be able to do his thing on it? > > Mr. Gilmore's experiment "have shown that varying the pitch of a string 50 cents requires, on the average, about one watt per string". Oh that's great. A pitch raise of 50 cents, with all the strings being tuned at the same time. I wonder what the effect on the soundboard will be? Do you think it will stay in tune? > > Mr. Gilmore, if you're lurking, please just concentrate on your job as a engineer, and leave pianos to people who have expericen tuning and repairing them. I'm sorry you spent so much time and engergy, not to mention money, on a system that is a failure. You might be able to sell a few of these things to unsuspecting customers, but you have done the tuning industry, not to mention the whole piano industry, a great diservice inventing a usuless electronic device. You should be ashamed of yourself for even attempting to justify your invention. > > Wim Blees RPT > Tuscaloosa, AL
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