Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Updated Version

[David Ilvedson]

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Fwd: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Updated VersiThanks Bill,

David I.

  -----Original Message-----
  From: owner-pianotech@ptg.org [mailto:owner-pianotech@ptg.org]On Behalf Of
Bill Ballard
  Sent: Friday, November 17, 2000 9:14 PM
  To: pianotech@ptg.org
  Subject: Fwd: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Updated Version






  QUESTION:  Why did the chicken cross the  road?


  ANSWERS:


  VICE PRESIDENT  GORE
  I fight for the  chickens and I am fighting for the  chickens right now. I
  will not give up on the chickens  crossing the road!  I will fight for the
  chickens and I will not  disappoint them.


  GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
  I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the  road.  I say give
  the road to the chickens and let them decide.  The government needs to
  let go of strangling the chickens so  they can get across the road.


  SENATOR LIEBERMAN
  I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God  in their
  own way.  Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should
  be denied the right to cross the road in their own  way.


  SECRETARY CHENEY
  Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
  wanted to.  Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need
  help crossing the road.  In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road
  myself.


  RALPH NADER
  Chickens are misled into  believing there is a road by  the evil
tiremakers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tiremakers to
create the  need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing
there is an advantage to crossing them.  Down with the roads,  up with
chickens.


  PAT BUCHANAN
  To steal a job from  a decent, hardworking American.


  JERRY FALWELL
  Because the chicken  was gay! Isn't it obvious?  Can't you people see the
  plain truth in front of your face?  The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what  "they" call it-the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay.   And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like  "the other
side."  That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and
simple as that.


  GRANDPA
  In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
  told us that the chicken crossed the road, and  that was good enough for
us.


  RONALD REAGAN
  What chicken?


  CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
  To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.


  FREUD
  The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed  the road
  reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.


  BILL GATES
  I have just released  eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but
  will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook -and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.


  BILL CLINTON
  I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"?
Could you define "chicken" please?




  GEORGE BUSH  Sr
  I don't think I should have to answer that question.


  COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?


  =====================Thanks for laughing

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