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[Ron Nossaman]

I've often wondered what kind of drugs were given to the advertising
departments of piano manufacturers. I can make a pretty good guess for
modern ad folk in most venues, but the piano ad guys have really outdone
themselves through the years.

You all know the Messo Thermoneal Stabilizer, the Harmi-Tone action,
Storytone Mahogany soundboard (guaranteed for life against splitting or
cracking), The Damp Proofed Action (what the heck does that mean?), the
Diaphragmatic Soundboard, Syncrotone strings, Pipe Organ Tone Chamber (a
special case, if ever there was), Genuine Reinforced hammers, and a couple
of hundred more that I've mercifully forgotten. The other day, I came
across one I didn't remember having seen before. I tuned an
honest-to-by-gosh Musette! That turns out to be a Winter spinet, for the
uninitiated, but why anyone thought the name "Musette" was better suited to
eliciting the kind of glandular secretions that part a consumer from his
cash than was the name "Winter", is beyond me. Exciting as all this was up
to this point, I had little reason to suspect that even greater thrills
awaited me within. 

Under the lid, I found a decal (not a sticker, mind you, this one was still
firmly attached, and made no claims to American Craftsmanship). It read:
"Practiano". I thought it sounded like something Italians say when you
sneeze, but on closer examination, I found the sucker... a muffler rail!
Yes folks, it's true. I have now tuned a Musette with a Practiano. Well,
actually, I used a tuning hammer, but ... aw heck, you know what I mean. In
any case, I felt I ought to share this little brush with the Twilight Zone
with my friends and colleagues on the List, lest your lives become too
serene and predictable, and your character dissipate. Whatever else comes
of all this, I suspect the world must surely be a better place as a result.

A little tip: Never let your character dissipate by accident.

In perpetuity,

Ron N