TWAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS

[John R Fortiner]

I received this from a friend of mine and have taken the liberty to
change a few words to "clean it up" a little:

TWAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS
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'TWAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS
AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE
NOT ONE PC WAS WORKING
NOT EVEN A MOUSE.

I TURNED ON THE POWER
BUT NOTHING WAS WORKING
I GRAB THE COMPUTER
AND START BANGING AND JERKING.

I LAID OUT THREE GRAND
FOR THIS BIG PIECE OF JUNK
ON JANUARY 1ST
THE THING WENT "KERPLUNK"!

WHEN I THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW
IT MADE SUCH A CLATTER
MY NEIGHBOR JUST CALLED
TO SEE WHAT'S THE MATTER.

I TURNED ON THE TV
THE CABLE IS DOWN
MY MICROWAVE OVEN
IS MAKING WEIRD SOUNDS.

MY NEW VCR
IS AS DEAD AS A ROCK
NOT ONE LIGHT IS BLINKING
NOT EVEN THE CLOCK.

IT'S TWENTY BELOW
THE PEAK OF SNOW SEASON
THE FURNACE WON'T WORK
THE PIPES ARE ALL FREEZING.

THIS COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED
AT A WORSE TIME
I THINK I HAVE FROSTBITE
ON MY BEHIND.

I LAUGHED FOR A SECOND
AND THOUGH IT ALL FUNNY
THEN A CALL FROM THE BANK
IN REGARDS TO MY MONEY.

"WE MANAGED YOUR PENSION
AND SAVINGS WITH CARE,
BUT FOR SOME ODD REASON
YOUR MONEY'S NOT THERE

WE WERE Y2K READY
WE'D THOUGHT WE'D BE HEROES
BUT REGRET TO INFORM YOU 
YOUR BALANCE IS.....ZERO"!

i DROP THE RECEIVER
TO THE BATHROOM I RUSH
I PUSH DOWN THE HANDLE
THE TOILET WON'T FLUSH.

I TURNED ON THE FAUCET 
NOT ONE DROP HITS THE SINK
I HEAD OUT THE DOOR
TO THE PUB FOR A DRINK.

I JUMP IN THE CAR
TURN THE KEY IN THE SWITCH
IT ONLY GOES "CLICK"
A  Y2K "GLITCH".

A COMPUTERIZED IGNITION
HAS JUST SEALED MY FATE
FOR IT  WAS NOT SET UP
FOR THE "2000" DATE.

I TWITCH LIKE A MADMAN
THIS CANNOT BE TRUE
NO CAR, HEAT, OR MONEY
WHAT CAN I DO?

SHOUTING OBSCENITIES
AS I RAN OUT OF SIGHT
HAPPY Y2K TO ALL
WHAT A HECK OF A NIGHT!

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"meddled with" by John R. Fortiner