SOB

[Elian Degen]

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I was sitting at my desk one day when I remembered I had to make a phone =
call, I found the phone number and dialled it.

An ill-humoured guy answered saying "Hello" ?

Courteously I said  "Good afternoon, may I speak to Andrea Jaramillo ?"
=20
The guy just hanged on me. I could not believe anybody could be that =
rude.


I checked again the number and dialled again, realising that the number =
I dialled first had the last two digits inverted.

After speaking to Andrea I kept watching the wrong number I had on my =
desk, thinking on the ruddness of the owner.

I decided to call again and teach him a lesson.

When the same voice answered I told him "You are an SOB.." and hanged =
up.Immediately I wrote next to his phone number the word SOB making a =
note to call him every couple of weeks when I was more stressed paying =
my bills or after a bad day, I would just dial his number tell him "You =
are an SOB" and hang up. It really made me feel much better=20

 After several months, our local Phone Company introduced the ID call =
service which let you know where the call is originated, what made me =
very sad. I had to stop calling the SOB. Then an Idea struck my mind.

I dialled his number, listened to his voice saying "Hello" and faking =
mine I said.

"Hello, I am calling you from CANTV (our local phone co.) Customer =
Service Department to see if you have our ID Call Service."

He answered as always, "No" and hanged the phone. What a relief !

Immediately I dialled again and said "That is because you are an SOB"

 The reason I am telling you all these is to show you that if there is =
really something that bothers you, there is always something to do about =
it. Simply dial 58 (2) 8234623 and say " You are an SOB"

 (Keep reading... it gets better still . . .)=20

 I went to the the market, and I was waiting for a place to park when I =
noticed an old lady which was leaving. She got into her car, and I =
parked near her waiting for the place. The old lady was taking an awful =
long time to leave, I even began to think that she would never leave.

Finally her car started moving, and in consideration to her old age and =
driving skills I reversed a little to give her more manoeuvring space. =
And I thought, Great, at last she is leaving.


Not a second has passed when a black Camaro appeared and bulleted in the =
empty space I was waiting for...


I honked my horn, and leaning outside my window I told him. "Hey, you =
can=B4t do that. I was here first.."

The guy simply got down, locked the car and left, completely ignoring =
me..

Now I was really P.O... and I thought, this guy is a total SOB.. surely =
there are lots of them...

That is when I noticed on the back window there was a "FOR SALE" sign.  =
I wrote down the phone number and looked for another parking space...


A couple of days later, I was sitting at my desk again and I was just =
hanging up after speaking to the first SOB. very easy to call now after =
I introduced his number in my phone memory and tagging the button SOB. =
and I thought, "Now I should call the Camaro guy too"

I dialled the second number and after he answered :

"Am I speaking to the FOR SALE Camaro owner ? I said=20

"Yes, how can I help you ?" he said=20

"Could you tell me where can I see it ?" I said

"Yes, I live at Carrera 45 with 34st. west on the Yellow house, and the =
car is parked right at the front. he said=20

"And what is your name ?" I said

"My name is Eduardo Perez" said the guy

"What is the best time to find you there ?" I said

"Always in the evenings" he said "

"Now listen Eduardo, may I tell you something else.."

 Yes

" Eduardo, you are an SOB" and I hanged up.

After doing that I added the phone number to the memory and tagged it =
SOB2

Now I was getting the feeling that everything was just working fine for =
me.

But suddenly I realised I had a problem. Now I had two SOB=B4s to call =
instead of one.

Several month went by, with me calling them from time to time and the =
fun was wearing off, so I decided to put an end to this newly created =
problem for which I thought of a great solution:

In first place I called SOB1=20

Of course, he answered in his rude manner. and I told him=20

"You are an SOB" but I did not hang this time=20

He said " Are you still there ?"

and I answered " Yes"

He the said "Stop calling me"

I said " Not a chance"


He said: " what=B4s your name @#|@# ?"


I replied " Eduardo Perez"=20

 Where do you live ?

I answered"Carrera 45 with   34st. West, in a Yellow house with a black =
Camaro parked at front"=20

I heard his voice saying " Now you wait for me @#|@# I am going right =
now, and better start saying your prayers ?

 I answered UUUYY, how scary you SOB, and hanged up.


Immediately I called SOB2

Hello SOB

He answered " If I ever find you...."

and I replied " No need to SOB. I am heading now for your place and I =
intend to beat the sh... out of you". and hanged up.

Great..

Now I called the Police station and notified them that I was Eduardo =
Perez  at Carrera 45 with 34st west and my Gay boyfriend was coming to =
kill me for being unfaithful

 Then I called a National TV network and told them to go to that address =
to witness a major Gang war


After that I took my car and went there to watch the show


 IT REALLY WAS GLORIOUS !!!

Imagine, watching two SOB=B4s striking, kicking and insulting each other =
in front of six police cars and a TVnetwork chopper. Was the best =
experience in my life.






Elian Degen..


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A nice April fool days to all

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