Fwd: (Fwd) Fwd: For the systems people

[Gregory Torres]

Greg,

Thanks! I nearly busted a gut laughing! I'm going to use these at the
Hilton where I play.

Sincerely,
Greg T.

Greg Newell wrote:

> Dear List,
>
>                 Thought you'd all get a kick out of these.
>
>                                                 Greg Newell
>
> >"NEW LYRICS TO BEATLES SONGS"
> > ----------------
> >
> >YESTERDAY
> >Yesterday,
> >All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
> >Now my database has gone away.
> >Oh I believe in yesterday.
> >Suddenly,
> >There's not half the files there used to be,
> >And there's a milestone
> >hanging over me
> >The system crashed so suddenly.
> >I pushed something wrong
> >What it was I could not say.
> >Now all my data's gone
> >and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
> >Yesterday,
> >The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
> >I knew my data was all here to stay,
> >Now I believe in yesterday.
> >==========================================
> >Songs to program by...
> >Eleanor Rigby
> >      -------------
> >Eleanor Rigby
> >Sits at the keyboard
> >And waits for a line on the screen
> >Lives in a dream
> >Waits for a signal
> >Finding some code
> >That will make the machine do some more.
> >What is it for?
> >All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
> >All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
> >Guru MacKenzie
> >Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
> >Isn't it fun?
> >Look at him working,
> >Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;
> >It takes  a while...
> >All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
> >All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
> >Eleanor Rigby
> >Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;
> >Feels like a jerk.
> >Guru MacKenzie
> >Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code;
> >Nothing will load.
> >All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
> >All the lonely users, why does it take so long?
> > =================================
> >Unix Man (Nowhere Man)
> >      --------
> >He's a real UNIX Man
> >Sitting in his UNIX LAN
> >Making all his UNIX plans
> >For nobody.
> >Knows the blocksize from du(1)
> >Cares not where /dev/null goes to
> >Isn't he a bit like you
> >And me?
> >UNIX Man, please listen(2)
> >My lpd(8) is missin'
> >UNIX Man
> >The wo-o-o-orld is at(1) your command.
> >He's as wise as he can be
> >Uses lex and yacc and C
> >UNIX Man, can you help me At all?
> >UNIX Man, don't worry
> >Test with time(1), don't hurry
> >UNIX Man
> >The new kernel boots, just like you had planned.
> >He's a real UNIX Man
> >Sitting in his UNIX LAN
> >Making all his UNIX  plans For nobody ...
> >Making all his UNIX  plans For nobody.
> > ================================
> >Write in C ("Let it Be")
> >     ------------------------
> >When I find my code in tons of trouble,
> >Friends and colleagues come to me,
> >Speaking words of wisdom:
> >"Write in C."
> >As the deadline fast approaches,
> >And bugs are all that I can see,
> >Somewhere, someone whispers:
> >"Write in C."
> >Write in C, Write in C,
> >Write in C, oh, Write in C.
> >LOGO's dead and buried,
> >Write in C.
> >I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
> >For science it worked flawlessly.
> >Try using it for graphics!
> >Write in C.
> >If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
> >Debugging some assembly,
> >Soon you will be glad to
> >Write in C.
> >Write in C, Write in C,
> >Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
> >BASIC's not the answer.
> >Write in C.
> >Write in C, Write in C
> >Write in C, oh, Write in C.
> >Pascal won't quite cut it.
> >Write in C.
> > =======================
> >Something
> >      ---------
> >Something in the way it fails,
> >Defies the algorithm's logic!
> >Something in the way it coredumps...
> >I don't want to leave it now
> >I'll fix this problem somehow
> >Somewhere in the memory I know,
> >A pointer's got to be corrupted.
> >Stepping in the debugger will show me...
> >I don't want to leave it now
> >I'm too close to leave it now
> >You're asking me can this code go?
> >I don't know, I don't know...
> >What sequence causes it to blow?
> >I don't know, I don't know...
> >Something in the initializing code?
> >And all I have to do is think of it!
> >Something in the listing will show me...
> >I don't want to leave it now
> >I'll fix this tonight I vow!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> Greg and Mary Ellen Newell
> Greg's Piano Forte`
> Lakewood, Ohio 44107
> gnewell@en.com