List, Thought some of you CAUT's, especially, might get a chuckle out of this from the piano list. (Forwarded with permission.) ***************************************************************************** >Date: Sun, 15 Sep 1996 15:09:12 -0700 >From: John Hudson <JAHUDSON@helix.net> >Subject: ADMINISTRATIUM - Smile >Sender: owner-piano-l@uamont.edu > >The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by >investigators at a major research university. The element, tentatively named >Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of >zero. However, it does have one neuton, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice- >neutrons, and 111 assistant vice-neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of >312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the >continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. > >Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be >detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes in >contact. According to its discoverers, a minute amount of administratium >causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would >otherwise have occured in less than a second. > >Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years at which >time it does not decay but undergoes a reorganization. Assistant neutrons, >vice-neutrons and assistant vice-neutrons exchange place. Some studies have >shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization. > >Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs >naturally in the atmosphere and tends to concentrate at certain points such >as government agencies, large corporations and universities. It can usually >be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained organizations >and buildings. > >Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level >of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is >allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how >administratrium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage. However, >results to date are not promising. _____________________________________ Avery Todd, RPT Moores School of Music University of Houston Houston, TX 77204-4893 713-743-3226 atodd@uh.edu _____________________________________
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