Tooner Tales

[Kenneth W. Burton]

      Thanks to those who took the time to send me a funny or amazing
story for a possible book called (perhaps) Tooner Tales. However, I only
got about 4 of them! I need a lot more in order to make this project fly.
Please send them to kwburton@freenet.calgary.ab.ca  Here's another sample
from Gordon Fishwick of Calgary Alberta.

      "I used to travel into the area of Nelson, BC, for Heintzman's.
I'd stay for several days at a time, servicing pianos that had been sold
and others in the area. There were lots of new pianos in the homes of the
two hundred miners at Emerald Mine south of Nelson. Since there was no
bridge over the Nelson river at that time, I made many trips across on
the old ferry.
        "One day, the Mayor of Nelson asked me to come and tune his
piano--'a very valuable antique.' That should have tipped me off.
      "I arrived at the Mayor's house and went into the parlor. There
it stood in all of its massive glory--an 1850 square grand! I examined it
and found it in pretty bad shape. Actually, there wasn't much left.
      "Searching for a convincing way to tell him this news, my big
mouth almost got me into deep trouble. 'Mr. Mayor,' I said, 'I suggest
that we put this piano on a truck and take it down to the ferry. Then,
when we're halfway across the river, we should say a prayer and consign
it to the deep.'
      "There was a shocked silence. I wondered if he might throw me out
of the house but then he began to laugh. Was I glad! We had a drink
together and remained good friends for many years.
      "I don't know what he actually did with the old square but he
bought another piano which I tuned many times."

      Ken Burton
      "Doctor Piano"
     Calgary, Alberta