Operating Systems -Forwarded

[Jack Reeves]

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Subject: Operating Systems
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I ran across this rather succinct description of the various operating
systems. Enjoy!



If operating systems ran airlines
(from a talk by an anonymous IBM employee)



DOS Airlines--Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then
jumps on and lets the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then
push again, jump on again and so on and so on.

MAC Airlines - All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage
handlers and ticket agents look the same, act the same and talk the
same.  Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you
don't  need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done
without you even having to know so just shut up.

OS/2 Airlines - To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped 10
different times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out
a form showing where you want to sit and whether if should look and
feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed
in getting on board the plane and the plane succeeds in getting off
the ground, you have a wonderful trip ...except times when the rudder
and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you have time to say
your prayers and get yourself prepared for the crash.

WINDOWS Airlines - The terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly
stewards and stewardesses, easy access to the plane and an uneventful
takeoff. Then the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever.

WINDOWS NT Airlines - Everyone marches out on the runway, says the
password in unison and forms the outline of a plane. Then they all sit
down and make a whooshing noise like a plane.

CHICAGO Airlines - The captain has been announcing boarding plans for
about a year and as soon as it's ready you'll be told where you are
going.  In the meantime you can stand at the window and crane your
neck with reporters from every magazine on the continent.

UNIX Airlines - Everyone brings one piece of the airplane with them
when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the
plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of
plane they are building.