On Jun 23, 2009, at 4:54 PM, Ed Sutton wrote: > Having become an old man before I realized it, I have learned that > in life, and on list, the best way to "win" an argument is to just > let it go Hi Ed old man <g>, I have a different take on arguments on a list serve. I like to look at the argument apart from the people involved. From my point of view, an argument may produce heat or it may shed light, usually some of each. A good argument is one that sheds more light than heat. It is an engagement of ideas from which the participants and those listening in obtain better understanding ("enlightenment"). No idea need prevail. Heat is often anger of one participant against another - always negative - but sometimes passion for a side of the argument, which can be positive (as it leads to more discussion and potential for greater understanding). An argument should be viewed by participants with at least some detachment. Problems arise when participants become personally involved, identifying with their ideas, and taking any criticism of their ideas as affecting themselves. In that case we often get arguments where people are out to "win," whatever that may mean. "Victory" is pretty meaningless, really: a bit of egotistical self- esteem boost, balanced against (usually) resentment and negative feelings of the "losing" parties. The best way for us all to "win" an argument is to keep it within bounds where there is more light than heat generated. When it gets too heated to be productive, we win by cutting off fuel - silence. Which is, in a sense, another way of saying "just let it go." old man Fred Regards, Fred Sturm University of New Mexico fssturm at unm.edu
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